How do encouragement and love help improve child behavior?
As parents we are sometimes looking for ways to improve our children’s behavior. Some of the best help can be found by applying some pretty simple and age old methods. Kids crave love and attention and flourish with encouragement. When kids are not getting any attention, they may act out or misbehave in order to get our attention. Sometimes as parents, we may get caught up in the daily rigors of our lives and it is easy to forget to actively show our children our love and encouragement. So here is a method you can use to build on good behavior. Take a moment out of each day and catch your child being good. Take notice and praise your child for that good behavior and let him or her know how much you love them. It can be something as small as praising your child for waiting patiently for you, or getting along with others, or playing quietly, or even helping you with a chore. The idea is that you take notice of the positive behavior and make it known to your child that you are aware of it, and that you are proud of him or her and that you love him or her. You can build on that concept by adding rewards if you so choose, but even without a reward, your child and his or her behavior will surely benefit. As with anything in life, you get out what you put in, and making some time during your day to give your children the love and reinforcement they need, will likely help to improve your children’s behavior. And if not, at least your child will know he or she is loved. And that goes a long way too!
See more about positive reinforcement and rewards to improve child behavior at http://www.ticketstoregame.com .
We as parents are faced with some difficult choices when it comes to disciplining our children. There are those who follow an “old school” train of though that discipline should involve instilling fear in children by trying to correct bad behavior by physical punishment by way of spanking or worse. In some cases, that method creates a disciplined child, but a child whose discipline is based on fear of their parents.
There are others who would tend to continually ask their children to behave, but who use no tools to help them actually get good behavior. This is more of a “discipline without discipline” method and often results in the child really running the show, and doing what he or she wants to do, when they want to do it. The end result of that method is usually frustration on the part of the parents, and lack of discipline for the child.
Another method, which has been incorporated in to the Ticket Store Game, uses the concepts of children “earning” their way to good behavior and then using the powerful method of positive reinforcement to reinforce the good behavior. Set behavior goals for your child to achieve, reward the child for achieving the goal, and then reinforce the behavior. While each of us have to determine which method is best for our children and families, there are some real benefits to creating lasting behavioral traits from positive reinforcement. Whether you use the patented Ticket Store Game method or just the concepts that have been incorporated in the game, you may want to consider which type of discipline is right for you, and start to implement a consistent plan to achieve your goals! We like to get better behavior-one ticket at a time!
You can purchase the Ticket Store Game at: http://www.ticketstoregame.com/BuyNow.aspx
Here is a helpful article from ADD Magazine for getting better behavior from your kids which incorporates many of the methods used with the Ticket Store Game.
Spend unstructured time together
Schedule 15 minutes each day with your child, to do whatever he wants to. Playing together helps repair the parent-child bond and lays the groundwork for positive reinforcement n the future.
Praise good behavior immediately and often
Positive reinforcement is the best behavioral tool, and especially powerful when it comes from a parent. Look for opportunities throughout the day to praise your child. Keep praise immediate and enthusiastic, and specify the exact behavior you’re commending.
Reinforce praise with tokens
This works especially well with young children. Tokens can be anything tangible and easily recorded — stars on a chart, coins in a jar — and should be awarded promptly for good behavior. Once a certain number of tokens are amassed, the child earns a predetermined reward, such as a video game, a sleepover at a friend’s house, or a trip to the movies.
Don’t ask, tell
Don’t start your requests with “Would you mind?”, or finish them with “O.K.?” Instead, make directives clear and succinct: “I notice your coat is on the floor. I’d like you to pick it up.”
Insist that your child make eye contact with you when you speak to him or her
That way, you prevent your kid from ignoring you, while reinforcing what you’re trying to communicate. “This can be done with humor,” says child psychologist Douglas Riley. “I use the phrase, ‘Give me your eyeballs.’”
Let your children know (politely) that they’re not your equals
“I urge parents to make it clear that they own everything in their home,” says Riley. “Kids are often outraged to discover this. But they need to know that you’re in charge, and that access to all the nice things in life, like the phone, TV, and computer, has to be earned by showing positive behavior and a good attitude.”
Set up and explain consequences for misbehavior ahead of time
These consequences should involve taking away privileges, such as access to the TV, playtime with friends, or another favorite activity. Particularly bad conduct, such as hitting or other physical violence should result in an extended time-out (30 minutes for children over 8, an hour for adolescents), in an isolated room, where the child is instructed to think about his or her behavior.
Stick to the consequences, no matter what.
“If your child hits a sibling five times and gets punished for it only three times, he knows he’s got a 40 percent chance of getting away with that behavior,” says psychiatrist Larry Silver, M.D. “A parent has to be 100 percent consistent in addressing bad behavior. Otherwise, the behavior may persist or even get worse.”
You can purchase the Ticket Store Game at http://www.ticketstoregame.com/BuyNow.aspx
Experiencing a child melt down in a public place or even in your home can be a very frustrating experience. Your self control can actually lead to your child’s self control. If you do not act out of impulse to your child’s melt down, but try a more reasoned approach, you will have a much better chance of getting the melt down under control.
The process can be difficult, but can bring back real rewards for the parents in the form of good behavior. For example, if you tell your child you are not serving dessert until after dinner, and the child cries and whines and has a tantrum, if you exercise self control by not giving in, your child will learn that the temper tantrum will not give him the result he wants, and he may actually lose dessert altogether. The learned behavior will be that it is better to wait for dessert than to melt down.
While the Ticket Store Game can help with day to day behavior, here are some age appropriate suggestions for dealing with melt down behavior:
up to 2 year olds: Try to distract them with their favorite toy or activity. As the child gets closer to 2, try a brief time out so that the child will understand the consequences of his actions. Also, praise your child for calming himself. Positive reinforcement can go a long way in getting a message across.
3 to 5 year olds: Continue with the time out, but consider having the time out last until the child has completely calmed down, with no time limit. This will help your child to develop self control, since he will realize that the time out will not stop until he has regained his self control. Again, reinforce the child’s progress and ability to regain control by praise and positive reinforcement.
6 to 9 year olds: As children spend more time in school, they tend to start to understand more about the consequences of their actions. Encourage children in this age group to stop and think about what will happen based on their actions. Help your child to understand that he can walk away from situations that may cause a melt down reaction. And encourage and praise good behavior.
10 to 11 year olds: As children reach this age, they are generally becoming more aware of their feelings and have the ability to think through situations that may cause them to lose control. Help your child to take time to think through a situation before responding to it. They may find that the situation is not as bad as they had initially thought, and as a result, the melt down is avoided.
Teaching a child self control is important since that skill will likely stay with the child for their whole life. Of course, each situation is different for every child, but using these suggestions along with incorporating the day to day concepts of the Ticket Store Game can help your child improve his behavior, and hopefully avoid the melt down!
Sometimes we as parents feel angry because our children are not listening and responding the way we want. Here are some tips that may help in controlling your anger.
1. Try to adjust how you think about what your child is doing. We may begin to believe that our son/daughter is trying to push our buttons or make us angry on purpose. Think of your child as someone just trying to figure out the wide world. Adjust your expectations. And try not to react. You may find that this lowers your anger level.
2. Pay attention to yourself. If you see that you are getting ready to respond in a negative way or snap, know your own warning signs and intervene before you react. Take a moment to regroup. You will find that by paying attention to your own stress meter, you can avoid the angry blow up. Use deep breathing calming techniques for yourself, so that the message you are giving to your child is more balanced and controlled.
3. Reduce stressful moments by being clear in your directives. Use short, clear, and firm instructions. Avoid sarcasm and use praise whenever possible. By being clear and firm, without losing control, you help create a balanced and nurturing environment in which to raise your child.
Keeping calm is not easy, especially with the stress of children who may be demanding of your time and energy to the point of exhaustion. By trying to incorporate some of these techniques, parents can hopefully avoid responding with anger and can build on positive interaction with their children. Use these techniques along with the Ticket Store Game to help improve your child’s behavior. Good luck and enjoy the process!
One of the most important things in helping to improve behavior is to create a loving relationship with your child. Showing your child that you are willing to take the time to listen, learn, play and teach will go a long way in building that loving relationship. Taking the time to put in the effort and play games together and laugh strengthens the loving bond.
Get ahead of the curve. Plan ahead and anticipate behavior issues before they become a problem. Be pro-active in giving instruction and guidance to help avoid behavior problems. Utilize games and interactive methods to create positive feedback for good behavior.
Reinforce good behavior. Get focused on your child’s good behavior and build on it. Praise often. Children thrive on knowing that they are doing good and that they have your approval. Catch your child being good, and let him or her know it. You will be surprised how helpful that can be.
Remember, it sometimes takes small steps to make big progress! Stay with it. It is worth all the effort!